Black Heart


I am in a fight against myself

At war with the thoughts in my head

I wonder how much longer I can last

Before I finally end up dead


When the thoughts turn depressing

And the tone becomes despair

I try to change the direction

But sometimes I just don’t care


I sometimes find myself adrift

Trying to understand it all

Day after day of struggles

There must be a pending fall


As time passes on like it always will

My heart slowly turns to gray

And with even more passing of time

My heart may turn black one day


I guard my heart with an iron fist

My soul I have buried in steel

At the right times I smile and laugh

But inside I don’t really feel


Everyone thinks they know me

I’ve tried to set them straight

They don’t hear a word I say

Which only fuels the hate


One day it will not be like this

I will eventually find my own way

Or at least that is what I hope

As I begin another day


Scared of Love


Sometimes I find myself
Feeling very scared of you
But in a way that’s new to me
And I don’t know what to do

Never have I loved anyone
The way I’ve always loved you
A love so deep, content, and set
It can only be love that’s true

It’s hard for me to imagine
How you could ever feel the same
My life has so far left me
With all these tears of shame

I am trying to let you in
But it’s very hard to do
Parts of me never before seen
And I want to share them with you

Yet when I try to open my mouth
No words come out at all
Fear strikes me into silence
Because I am so scared to fall

I am scared to feel more pain
Lucky I’ve made it this far
If I were to let you break my heart
It’d be the worst possible scar

You ignite a fire in me
Unlike any I have known
My love for you slept for years
And now it can be shown

A love not only realistic
But deep rooted to my core
A love so crazily romantic
To leave me always wanting more

So hard to give away my trust
Leaving my life in your hands
So hard to believe it’s possible
To feel like this for only one man

When fear sets in, I reach out
The last thing I want to do
And you calmly bring me back
Like it can only be done by you